Cyclo Cross- What's that all about?

Now many years ago through the winter I was often asked to join in the cyclocross circuit. With mountain bikes some years away I always took the fun option of skiing, running or putting some weight back on rather than try to propel a road bike with fat tyres round a dirt track..  Now a mountain bike, a machine built for going off road, through mud and no need to step off in the difficult bits, that's worth going off road on. Apparently though Cyclocross is making a come back...more and more people are giving it a go.
A quick summary of what it is for those of you clever enough to avoid it. It's a type of cycling that involves getting on and off your bike and riding a circuit that is a mixture of mud and pavement. The races are short and over quickly' before anyone sees you perhaps. So if you love wallowing in mud, struggling to remove the filth from every tiny part of your bike and perhaps even the joy of walking around in rubber boots before the event, cyclocross is for you. Personally I think people just watched Lance go off road and across the field and think that was cyclocross.  Sorry it isn't he was just showing off to boost the ratings and he mountain bikes through the winter so I suggest you find another hobby for the winter, unless of course I'm wrong... in which case I would love to hear why.

Well Done Wiggle - A straight forward Delivery

The trinity arrived safely on Thursday night. I waited all day for her putting off a trip to London to show what a good Dad I could be. That of course left me stuck in a traffic jam at 9pm for two hours but worth it. And what a delivery. A huge box arrived with Wiggle and a picture of a bike on it. The delivery guy, stating the bleeding obvious, saying 'got a new bike then?' Putting aside the many things I wanted to say, I asked him to help me through to the garage with the box. I have to say, this was the first time I have gone for an alternative delivery. As mentioned in my previous blog the price was too good to pass up on. I have always loved the experience of picking bikes up from the shop. This though, so far, was as smooth as it comes. I opened one end of the box, slid the bike out and there it is as you see in the picture. Handlebars folded flat and lots of wrappers to clear off.  So.... my task this week cut the packaging off, and fit the bits and pieces. A quick confession... like many cyclists I'm not a fan of getting the spanners out so I'm hoping it goes well. Mind you....looking at the forecast it could be a while before I get out on it.  So the plan is a scientific test on time trial bikes, with a sample base of two (yes it will be you Ade).... we will time ourselves on normal bikes then time ourselves on the time trial bikes. Stand by for the results, we wonder if TT bikes are a conspiracy between the professional cyclist and the bike manufacturers to persuade us to part with our dough but stand by for the most in depth cycling study Wirral Mamils have ever completed[yes i will be the first]. So brandy and cigars on hold..I'm of to the VR world, avoiding the ice and cold, for a twenty mile ride through the Alps, Life doesn't get any better.

Waiting for a new arrival

Have you looked at the bargains available in your bike shops or on the Internet at the moment? It's clearance time. The 2011 models are out and the 2010 stock is now useless and no fun to ride. Or is it? I have always wanted to try a time trial bike. In my racing days I had the pleasure of watching Greg Lemond snatch victory in the Tour D'France with tri bars borrowed from the triathlon world. We all clamoured to buy some of the clip on pieces and expected to drop minutes from our times in the race of truth. In fact we weren't disappointed. In an age before carbon, deep wheel rims and clip on rear discs we were starved of technology and innovation. Tri bars were the cycling worlds equivalent of landing on the moon. Next came clipless pedals and we all had a re-think about titanium. People began to think about how to get more speed from their bikes. Anyway after an absence of some fifteen years I can't believe the difference in the technology of bikes. It is like part exchanging a mark two cortina for the latest 5 series. Incomparable. Anyway back to my story, I have the road bikes I want and an upgraded mountain bike arrives next week. I had something of a lust for a time trial bike. Looking on the Wiggle site they had the giant trinity 0 for £899 the list price is £1400. So a swift saving of £500. To good to pass up on. But wait a minute.... what about the 2011 model .. what new wonders could I get for full price? Well the blue, white and black colours have been swapped around on the frame and saddle and the wheels have white logos not the blue found on the old rims. Other than that everything is virtually the same except the price. It is now £1500. So I reckon I am saving £600. What can I say? I am plotting the ten mile time trial courses to see how much time they really save and of course for those who have read my previous blogs the cigars and brandy will be out to celebrate the new arrival. I will wait for your congratulations during the wetting of her head. Love her already and will spend the day on the door step waiting for the Post office stork...... More after the first ride.

Who has been reading my blog?

Having asked the question everyone wanted to know the answer to ' What is happening to Contodor' the World Anti-doping organisation have rushed forward to answer me. They refute Contador's claim that he was contaminated by clenbuterol saying that minute traces are only found in 1 in 300,000 cattle when rogue farmers inject them to accelerate growth. Apparently this makes his claim impossible! But wait a minute could it have been the 300,000th cow? If so Contodor is innocent, should I change my blog? No not at the moment, the WADO tested the meat at the butchers that supplied the steak and found it was negative - sorry Alberto I think you did it!!!

What do we think about the cyclist being awarded £280,000 for crushed legs, multiple fractures and a life on crutches? I don't think many people would turn down that amount of money but think for a moment. Unable to work is bad enough but what if your triathlon career was cut short and you could never compete again. Would you take the money? Would you live with the pain? I wouldn't, it's hardly enough to buy a house never mind compensate for the loss of an activity you love. The cyclists solicitors Russel Jones and Walker appear quite proud of the out of court settlement - personally I don't think it came close to compensating an athlete for their loss.

Ride with the Schleck's

Did you know the Schleck brothers are available to guide you through the countryside of Luxembourg?  I didn't until tonight. I went for a spin through the French Alps before, wanting a bit more time in the saddle, I picked training with the Schlecks from my tacx menu and set off through the countryside with them. Don't expect any tips from them though, any insights to put you up at the front of the pack. All I saw was their backsides for the whole journey. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked if he had his chain retainer fitted because in my words 'this was going to get tough'. No sense of humour the Teutonic types. He should remember my previous blog in which I raised the issue of his win in France. Perhaps I am getting too immersed in this virtual world - its time for an outdoor run soon..

Naked sexy Italian lady

Now far be it from me to gather the masses around my blog with the promise of young Mediterranean ladies when the reality is far sexier. Let me explain.. The work of art pictured above is Adrian's new, slimmer and curvaceous lady in his life. Notice the way the make up flows around the frame with the airbrush skill of Hollywood's finest make up artists. It is like an eye Shadow lady GaGa would die for and flaunt around the globe harassed by the paparazzi.
So having thrown his leg over this slim Italian babe what happens to Ade? Well we don't know yet but I am going to make a prediction based on two pieces of evidence. The first is there for all to see, notice the white pedals attached to the bike designed to merge with the artists covering of the frame. They are 'look' pedals. He does not consider this a make of pedal more a demand on your attention- 'you will stare as I go by'. Secondly, to caress the pedals, carbon shoes were essential. Having changed the traditional foot attire for featherweight moulded cycling essentials Ade has dropped his travelling weight by about the same as a steak dinner. This actually means he can have an extra steak dinner before he cycles. What a great idea, if he could still afford one.

What next. Well I predict he will build on this new image convincing himself he is 'more than mortal woman deserves', a Roman god, a deification on earth. Watch the brylcream slick the hair back. The sideburns start to point and the clothing get more expensive. Words like bambio, bellissimo and chow will drawl from his lips at every occasion when he is sure he will be overheard. My view - enjoy yourself ... if you find yourself as a piece of eye candy for something as beautiful as a Willier you need to raise your game or people will only think the bike is only with you for your your money. (Yes I know they are but we can fantasise can't we?) Keep spinning soon be summer!!!

Contador the legend?

I was wondering today as the rain blew in over the Irish sea and I contemplated a cold ride or a warm virtual reality one,  when will we find out what is to happen to Contador. Sure he has been discovered doping which he accepted with the grace of a five year old caught writing on the walls in crayon - 'It wasn't me' 'It must have been someone else'. It occurred to me that across the great pond another athlete is on trial because someone else has claimed that doping took place. Now I am no expert but I am entitled to an opinion. Here is my question - If Contodor is caught after winning just three (is it) Tour D'France's surely Lance Armstrong would have been caught during his seven wins plus other entries prior to his re-birth. Isn't it time we just accepted that Lance is probably the greatest athlete since, if not including, Hercules and enjoy the pleasure that was Armstrong taking seven tours. People always want a piece of the victor and yet we appear to take forever to deal with the real dopers. Let's not forget the epic battle that took place between him and Schleck and how this contaminated steak and a missing piece of carbon robbed the true champion of his glory in Paris. So...in my humble opinion well done to Schleck and back off the legend, long may he continue all that he does (Armstrong that is). Thank God for the track team,

The loss of a loved one.

"http://wirral-mamils.blogspot.com/"
Have you ever had the pleasure of picking up a brand new bike from the bike shop? It is something special. You are taken through to meet the new addition to the family all shiny and innocent. You don't want to subject it to any risk so it is a long time before it goes out in adverse weather, heaven forbid it could end up dirty. Then there is the showing off. You may invite a few select friends to join you in the maternity ward while discussing the oddest of names for the new arrival, Willier, Giant, Colnago, choose carefully we don't want any bullying because we choose the wrong name. What about our ambitions for them. will we let them plod through life, or do we want them to become the best in the world, with us alongside every step of the way. Yes the arrival of a new bike is a special occasion worthy of a cigar and brandy with friends. It is second only to the birth of a child if your wives or partners are reading this, we all know it's way above that if they aren't. Yes life will be good. We remember the special rides, our personal bests or a ride with a special friend just enjoying their company. It is all linked to the new bike.

Imagine then when one of societies parasites helps themselves to your pride and joy to sell for a few pounds. Statistically there is a good chance you will have your bike stolen at some point in your life. A friend of mine has just had three stolen from his garage, a t-mobile giant, an orange mountain bike, and a specialised fixed wheel that only went home with him a week ago. The police actually stopped one of the thieves riding away on it but couldn't prove it was stolen and had to let him go. When he was later arrested he refused to say where the bikes were. He is now mourning the loss of his loved ones. A bit of therapy helped in the form of a new Willier and thanks go to cycle surgery for their sympathetic pricing. Even so he is without he bike that gave him those memories and some irritating individuals are bragging about their new acquisitions. If we caught them I would love to ensure they never suffered any further genital pain when riding a bike, or help them down the horseshoe pass with the brakes disconnected.
In the meantime when you are riding your bike, is anyone following you? Do you look round before turning into the house, is it locked away in an alarmed room? Look after your precious ones, you can get a new addition to the family but you can't replace the ones that go missing

Eighty Mile per hour winds, torrential rain. How I found sun and blue skies.

 It was eighty mile per hour winds and driving rain over the Wirral today. Hardly my favourite cycling weather. Why then did I feel like Grandad from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at eight O'Clock this evening? Well, as I walked through the house in my cycling gear clutching a water bottle the children asked me where I was going. Just like Grandad from the movie I told them I was off to sunny France to climb Alp D'Huez in glorious Sunny weather without wind or rain. I walked into my wooden box- the back of my garage and mounted my trusty steed. A carbon fiber giant racing bike hooked up to a virtual reality Tracx trainer. The screen is six feet wide and the views stunning. I then proceeded to climb 10 miles in an hour with the hill as steep as 12%. Thank goodness I picked the carbon its much lighter than a steel bike for climbing. (It works in my virtual world). Here's where it starts to gets strange. (just now you ask) I set the effort to 50% of the required effort and the machine did the rest. So at half the real effort I am climbing the most famous mountain in the Tour De France while outside the gales rip the branches from the trees. I found myself gloating as I passed other cyclists in the movie even chuckling at one poor cyclist reduced to walking and immortalised in Tacxs video footage.

The point of it all? I got to exercise on a sunny day in France rather than a miserable day in Northern England. There's nothing wrong in hiding in a virtual world to escape from reality. I climbed the Alps, didn't pay any travel fees and shut myself away from the world while keeping myself fit.

Clear skies and sunshine on demand

Sorry not me