Stay staunch, be strong and just do it!

Other than last weeks taster session on the track it's been six months since Ade or I rode on the track. Ade because he was sent to China and me because time has slipped away from me. Just after Ade left I finished my accreditation to ride the track, the last stage in a difficult journey assessing your competence (yes I did pass). So, having ridden a hard 40 the day before we went to complete Ade's accreditation. [I mention all the previous because I am a cyclist and its mandatory to give your excuses before you begin]. Those of you who know Ade will know he is a fixed wheel aficionado for whom the derailleur is the work of the devil though he does enjoy its guilty pleasure now and again. So tonight was a special occasion akin to receiving a Nobel prize.

The session is two hours long with a fast pace throughout.The evening started with fifteen minutes of warm up. Inevitably on the track this ends up as a high speed through and off with the pace picking up every lap for around 40 laps. It's then a quick [complicated] briefing before doing the lumps and bumps. This is a steady ride going up and down the banking including the steep bits. Those of you who have seen the track will know the gradient and can imagine the torture to the legs. Still-only about eight laps. Next is the official through and off; one lap on the front before shooting up the bank and coming down to join the rear of the group, each of the fourteen riders going twice so another 28 laps (starting to build and warm up now). We then did half laps but only one go each so another 7 laps.

Things started to get complicated now, from a single moving line the even numbers stayed on the inside while the odd numbers formed an inner line so two lines of seven hurtling round the track another dozen laps into the legs. Then, get this, the front inner rider accelerates up to front of the outer row while the rear rider drops back into the inner line so constantly moving in a clockwise circle. Head hurts. Then it was moving off the front in pairs, both front riders shoot up the track together and rejoin at the back - another 28 laps.

Then the fun really started. Two groups of seven ride at a recovery pace half a lap apart and at the whistle each front rider sprints to join the rear of the group in front another 40 laps into tired legs - awesome.

That was the main part done it was a mock (yeah right) race next. 10 laps at a high pace coming through and off to the rear each lap, build it right up to race pace for the next five then its everyone for themselves for the last five. I actually had a race plan. 'stay third wheel until the last lap then go flat out'. Yeah right. As the five laps to go sign came up I was in second place and the person in front slowed down. I was forced into the front and immediately came up with the most stupid plan. Go flat out for five laps or 1250 meters. I managed 31/2 laps and everything stopped working as the bike went into reverse. At this point I refer you to my previous excuses. We both thoroughly enjoyed the shoulder to shoulder barging on a bike though.

Finally 'the Sir Chris Hoy experience' The derny. The little moped went out with 14 riders and rapidly built to 40kph for a lung busting, breath through every orifice, 36 laps (9 kilometres). The closer you got to the Derny the easier, though still difficult, it became. Incredible experience and certainly takes your speed up.

That was it, a bit of feedback to all the riders and I am pleased to say we both passed. I was panicking in case they took it off me!

Ade is still on a high 24 hours later [OK me too]. It was a tough session but you learn more than you would believe going through the process. We would both recommend anyone tries it and we are more than happy to join you, though as accredited riders we may have to flush heads in toilets or perform wedgies to new arrivals.

The smuggest you will see Ade